That's intense
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize