I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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