I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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