walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
