so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
vagina is talking i cant
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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