Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
