I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it was like eating out sand paper
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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