OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
