i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
