Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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