I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
