these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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