How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
4 words: hood of his car
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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