I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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