she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
NoShamevember. You game?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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