she was so not down for the gang bang
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
