forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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