For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize