Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
