I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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