God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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