So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she told me i tasted like america
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
