i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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