walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
