He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
