Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize