i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize