420 ftw
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize