I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
