listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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