fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
