Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
