yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
