he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
