guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize