wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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