This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
