And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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