i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
