it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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