ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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