He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
