yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
