what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
