I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
