me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
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