I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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