I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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