Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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