i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
