I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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