Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
