i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize