that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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