i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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