shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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