My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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