did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
