If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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