just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
dude. I can hear the air.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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