he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
